Major Update

As some of you probably guessed, I've been a little distracted.

Things at my job continued to get more and more stressful leading up to the end of the school year. I went into the summer uncertain if I would be offered a contract for the following year and if I was offered a contract, it would be conditional.  So when the summer started I went straight to work on complying with those conditions.

The final decision on whether or not I would be offered a contract was supposed to happen mid-May.  It was postponed until mid-June...



At the end of July I received a letter informing me that I would be offered a contract for the 2012-2013 school year as long as the conditions were met but that those conditions would not actually fulfill the requirements of employment.  So, if I wanted to be offered a contract for the 2013-2014 school year, I would need to complete the unnecessary conditions as well as the new conditions... AND this all had to be completed before the end of this school year.


So I resigned.


I was not sure what I was going to do but I knew that God was giving me the "ok" to not be yanked around and made to jump through ridiculous hoops in a job that had become way more discouraging and oppressive than it was rewarding.


I received the letter on a Thursday, filled out an online application with LifeTouch on Friday, had a phone interview with them on the following Tuesday, had a live interview on Thursday, and was offered a position on the following Monday.

I said "yes", of course.

I will start training on August 22 and in September I will be an Undergraduate Photographer for LifeTouch.  I will also need to become a morning person.



I am so happy! and sooo not stressed!


God is good.

I've Never Heard THAT Song.

A couple of my 4th graders wanted to sing a song for me today.  It went like this:

O give me a home where the buffalo roam

And the deer and the antelope play

Where solemn is heard and the birds need the Word

And the clouds are just cloudy all day.

O, home on the range

Where the deer and the antelope play

Where solemn is heard and the birds need the Word

And the clouds are just cloudy all day.

Severe Weather?...Or Not.

Today in my 5th grade Science class, the following exchange happened:

Me:  "Each student will choose a type of severe weather..."
T: "I get 'volcano!'"
Me:  "Um.  A volcano is not weather."
Class: *blank stares*
Me:  "When was the last time you looked outside and said, 'hmm....looks like volcanic eruptions today.'?"
N:  "Ms. Roach!  You tell the funniest jokes!"

Seriously??

Um...EEEWWW!

My fourth and fifth graders are unusually interested in what I eat for lunch.  They are often alarmed that I eat characters from Veggie Tales and always concerned that I don't have any ranch dip.  (They just don't understand how anyone could like "naked" vegetables.)  They are sometimes fascinated, like when I bring a whole green pepper and bite into it just like an apple, and sometimes grossed-out...like today.

There I am, minding my own, enjoying my lunch when I hear, "Ms. Roach! WHAT are you eating?"

Me: "Green beans."
A: "Why are you eating them with your fingers?"
Me: "Because they are raw."
L: "EEEEEEEWWWWW!"
Me: "What do you mean 'ew'? You don't like green beans?"
L: "Not raw! I only like them cooked with mayonnaise on them."
Me: "um.....eeewww!"


Seriously...that can't be normal.

How God Answers Prayer...According to 9 Year Olds

The other day we had a lesson on prayer that included what prayer is, who can pray, how to pray and how God answers our prayers.  This lesson was followed up by a worksheet for homework.  The last question on said worksheet was:

What answers might God give  to your prayers?

Here is how my fourth grade students answered that question:

"Yes."       "No."      "Wait."     "Maybe."      "You are a very lucky little girl."      "OK."      "I will think about it."        "Give Me some time."       "Wait and see."         "It's good to be thankful."


Sometimes...they crack me up.

Violated Airspace!

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day but this post is not about Martin Luther King Jr.  Instead, this is part of my "A Moment from Mondays Gone By" series...where I re-post a favorite story or in this case, share a favorite memory.

As I was running errands today, I happened upon a small community football field.  What surprised me the most is that it was empty.  See, when I was a kid, if we had had a day like today...no school, no snow, dry ground, blue sky, 40 some degrees...the neighborhoods would have been crawling with kids.  We would have been all over that field!  That makes me sad.

Moving on.


Part of my growing up years were spent in a trailer park.  Don't judge.  Our lot was the main hang-out for all the park kids.  We had a great sledding/biking hill with a bridge over the irrigation ditch; an amazing log fort; materials for building epic bike jumps; AND an empty lot next door.  Our lot was separated from the empty one by a deer fence, which had started out about 3 feet high but had been pushed down for easier access.  However, the grass that had grown up through the fence was at least 3 feet high.  Anyway, this lot was used for football, soccer and Frisbee.

The problem was the neighbor on the other side of the lot.  She was a witch.  She ate children.  If you looked her in the eye, you would be paralyzed and she would put curses on you.  Actually, some of that might not be true but we weren't about to take chances.  I don't actually remember ever seeing her but I have distinct memories of being yelled at.  And we never got our ball or Frisbee back when they went over the fence.

So, there we were...enjoying a "no school" day...playing football.  Suddenly, the ball veers off course...15 or so kids freeze...there is a collective "gasp" as the ball crosses the plane of her lot...multiple voices yell, "VIOLATED AIRSPACE!!"...15 or so kids run-jump-dive-roll-slide into our lot and hide behind the grass until the coast is clear.  Then 10 or so kids brave enough to continue, scrounged up another ball while everyone else went and hid in their own yards or houses.  It was so much fun!  But then again, any experience that could be followed-up by the phrase "We almost died." is a winner in my book.

I wish all kids could have that experience!

Hallmark Movie Quote

"How could you do this?"

"I was mad."

"At the school?"

"At my parents."

"So why didn't you spray paint them?"

Random Thoughts Regarding Oysters

Ok.  For those of you who do not know...I don't eat seafood.  I eat most fish...just not all those other things found in the sea.  Some are squishy.  Some are slimy.  Some are simply too bug-like to stomach.  But the oyster is in a category all its own.  In fact, if I were to write a dictionary, this would be my entry for "oyster."



oys*ter   |oi-ster|    noun     An uber-gelatinous substance that looks like it came out of an infant's nose that some guy, who was starving to the point of having already digested several of his own internal organs, picked up one day and said, "Huh. This looks good."


That is all.

Can I See Some IQ?

A: "Is this class pass or fail?"
Me: "Yep.  Leaning more towards fail at the moment..."

Here Comes the Bride...

OK.  Everyone just CALM DOWN...  I am not getting married.


But now that I have your attention, let me tell you what I learned from a fifth grader today.






Science Question:  What is an example of how thermal expansion affects our everyday life?


Student Answer:  A bride. It has joints and when it is hot, they can swell, but when it is cold they come back together and it doesn't come apart.




Um....OK.....

While that IS true, I think she meant to say "bridge".

Weed Whackers...Aisle Nine.

While standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed the lady behind me.  Why, you ask?  She had plastic eyelashes.

Plastic. Eyelashes.

Not regular false lashes where you can at least see some lash definition.  These were...well....Mr. Potato Head lashes.  They looked like plastic eyelash mittens.  Or Saul Rubinek's eyebrows.

So, there I am...covertly staring...trying not to laugh and biting my tongue to keep from asking the obvious questions...

Do you have a mirror at your house?

What are you pet caterpillers' names??

Your neck can bench press HOW much???

I know.  I need therapy.

I Don't Do New Year's Resolutions...

I don't do New Year's resolutions...  That is not to say that I don't have goals and ambitions or things that I would like to accomplish during the course of a year.  I just don't usually contemplate them at the beginning of the year. I'm more apt to set goals around my birthday...

However, I just happened to view my own blogs and realized that this last year was kind of miserly in terms of posts.  I know that there were several times this last year that I said the phrase, "I gotta blog about this..." and yet those stories are not here. That makes me sad.

There is so much that has happened in my life since May that has been influenced by the distress of my job.  And my job took over my life.  Literally.  I started working 10-15 hours a day.  I stopped blogging. I stopped taking pictures. I stopped travelling. I stopped eating right. I stopped laughing.  And that has got to stop.

I'm not quite sure how to accomplish the taking back of my life.  Maybe the first step is in acknowledging that I am not ok with this.  So...I have taken that first step.  I'll let you know when I figure out what the second step is.

Is My Head Really THAT Small??

The first time I realized that I had a small head was while in college.  I was still living at home and my dad had salvaged some football helmets from a middle school thinking that my mom could use them in the dress-up area of her preschool.  My younger brothers were trying to put them on but they weren't going over anyone's ears.  I grabbed one and went to set it on my head...we were all quite surprised when the helmet plopped down to my shoulders.  And even more surprised when I could turn my head back and forth...without the helmet moving.


Now, fastforward a few years...as you know from my previous post, I am in need of glasses.  I have had my exam and yesterday (Black Friday) I went shopping for frames.  I took a friend with me and we went to four different places. During the course of the first three, we learned what shapes and colors to stay away from.  However, when we got to the fourth place, some of those shapes and colors were suddenly working.  Then I noticed that they seemed smaller.  So we went to the youth/kids area and suddenly everything is looking good...  Anyway, seems I have a lot more options on what looks good when the glasses actually fit my face.


That being said, I am buying a pair on Monday.

Getting Old...

Most of the time I can avoid the realization.  I have a job that allows me to play catch and four-square, sing silly songs, lead messy science experiments and sleep-in late in the summer.  On my own time I play computer games and go on adventures with my camera and exporations with my car.  Mostly, I don't have time to think about getting old...

But sometimes the realization smacks me in the face.

I have been getting headaches lately, that are directly connected to the times that I am reading, grading or planning lessons.  So, yesterday, I had my first ever eye-exam.  I need glasses.  Not just any glasses. Bifocals.  (Nothing says, "old" like bifocals...unless it's trifocals.) I need support reading and I have an astigmatism.

Now you might be thinking, "Nobody has to know you have bifocals...just get the no-line lenses."  But the doctor tells me that the no-line lenses cause waviness in your peripheral vision.  Since I am not willing to sacrifice any of my peripheral vision...in my photography or my teaching (75% of all inappropriate behavior in the classroom takes place in my peripheral vision.)...I find myself not only having to admit to myself that I am getting old but I also have to announce it to the world.

So, I will be out with all of the crazy people who enjoy shopping during the holidays, trying to find a pair of frames that will just say "old"...not "old nerd". 

By the way, this will take place on Black Friday.  Yeah.  I don't know what I'm thinking either.  If nothing else, it will give me something to blog about.

Just Plain Ugly

I can't tell you how stressed I am.  I wish I could.  However, doing so would be irresponsible and severely lacking in good judgment and self-control.  AND could ultimately lead to more stress if I ended up losing my job over a momentary "vent".  So I will stick to generalizations.

I am tired of working 12-14 hours a day to barely keep my head above the water. Sick of being micro-managaed. Frustrated with the fact that there is no communication but you can be reprimanded when you don't know something.  I seriously do not know how much more of this I can take before I break.

If I do break, I won't be the first.  Three others have already broken and moved on...

Long Time, No Post...

Hey all,

I'm still here.  I'm exhausted...but I'm still here.  I underwent a major career shift this summer.  It may not seem that way to some but believe me...major shift.  Last year I was a teacher.  I taught Bible/Christian Worldview and Logic to junior high students.  Two subjects I am passionate about to students just slightly younger than the high school students I thoroughly enjoy.

This year I am a teacher.  I teach Bible and Science to 4th and 5th graders, Spelling and Handwriting to 4th graders and Math to 5th graders.  I am still passionate about Bible but Science?... and Math?...not so much. Spelling was my very worst subject in school and I don't even know how to write in cursive...  It's killing me.

The amount of classroom management, procedures, directions, and guidance I need to provide this year has tripled.  Last year I was able to take students who had basic knowledge and lead them deeper.  This year I have to teach the basic knowledge.  I don't know how to do that. 

I am spending 70 to 90 hours a week at work so far this year.  I am really tired and do not have a lot of time for things like....blogging, let alone things that keep me calm...like photography, reading, or road-tripping.  I will try to check in now and again.

On a final note:
4th and 5th grade certainly provide a plethera of blog fodder...if I could just find the time to share...

Word of the Day

Today has been brought to you by the word "disintegrated" and the word "horizonical"....which needed to be disintegrated...

Family Reunion

The middle of July marked my niece's first birthday and the first time in 11 years that my parents, brothers (and wives) and myself were all in the same room simultaneously.  It was so much fun.  Two and a half days of hugs and memories and laughter.  There were several memories shared that certain individuals had hoped would never be mentioned again. (Most of these involved flatulence and other bodily functions.)  There were also lots and lots of pictures.  The birthday party was enjoyed by all...my brother and sister-in-law put together an amazing cake.  The men played football in the heat and humidity while the more sensible women-folk cheered them on from the slightly cooler "veranda."  We all decided that we definitely get together more often than once a decade!

Lack of Blog Fodder...

So far my summer has been severely hampered by a lack of funds and a lack of transportation.  I have gone nowhere and done nothing.  Seriously.  However, I will be going to my niece's first birthday party next weekend...as will my entire immediate family.  This will be the first time in 11 years that we all have gotten together in the same place.  M & A are flying Mom and Dad to New Jersey this coming Monday and will head to Tennessee on Thursday.  T is flying into Baltimore on Thursday and he and I will drive down Friday morning...early.  Mom, Dad, Me, M & A, D & D & H (the birthday girl), and T...all together for two and a half days...it will be a blog fodder feast!

Jury Duty

I had jury duty yesterday.  This was my first time...I usually get out of the summons but this time I just postponed it until school got out.  So, I had no idea what to expect.

I woke up at 5:00am and left the house at 6:10am since I didn't know where I was going or how long it would take me to get there.  I ended up being perfect on my timing, arriving at the courthouse just 10 minutes prior to the 7:30am deadline.  It also put me in the first 25% of the jurors who were able to go through security without problem as opposed to the latter 75% who arrived between 7:30 and 8:00 and didn't get checked in until 8:30 or 9:00.

They started to assign us to groups by 9:30 or so and I found myself Juror #24 in the Purple Group.  But then I also found that I was Juror # 36 in the Red Group.  At first they told me that the computer thought I was two different people.  Umm. Ok.  But after the third or fourth person was assigned to the Purple and Red Group they realized it was a computer error.  A computer error that they have never had happen before.  And I'm thinking, "Great.  Everyone is going to think that this is my fault.  The one time that I actually have jury duty and the computer malfunctions."  I'm not making this up.  Anyway, they take all of the purple and red ticket back and after a few minutes they are re-assigned.  Now I am in no group.

A little after 11:00, the Yellow Group is given a 5-minute warning that their baliff is on the way and they should get ready.  It was very amusing watching 72 adults try to put themselves in numeric order....and then count...in numeric order.  Took them a couple of tries.  As soon as they left, an announcement is made that they need 35 juror...immediately.  I am now Juror #17 in the Hot Pink Group.  We are not given any time to get ready as our baliff was already there.  We go through the selection process and I am sitting on a jury panel.

It is a criminal case...marijuana...possession and possession with intent to distribute.  We had enough time to hear opening remarks and the prosecution's first witness before we broke for lunch.  About half-way through the second witness, I decided I better keep track of how often the prosecuting attorney said, "A moment of the court's indulgence."  I counted thirteen times...that is thirteen times that he got lost in his notes, couldn't find a note or just plain couldn't figure out what to say next. 

Then there were his "asked and answered" moments.  Like this one: PA: "Who are you imployed by?" W: "Prince George's County Police Department, eight years."  PA: "How long have you been there?"  W: "...uh...eight years."  Some of these were met with "objection" but others just slid by the defense attorney...or were ignored.  Personally, I think the defense attorney could have been the poster boy for the slogan "I'm not deaf, I'm ignoring you."  He looked completely bored through the whole trial.  He wasn't the only one...the security officer was so bored...HE...FELL...ASLEEP.  I kid you not.  Head against the wall, eyes closed, mouth open.   Thankfully he was not snoring...I would not have been able to rein in the giggles. 

Then the defense attorney stepped up to the plate.  In his opening remarks he was adamant that we know his client by name..."This is Devin...not 'the defendant'".   Yet every other time he referred to him, he called him "Kevin"...I guess it's close...it...rhymes.  And he kept getting his facts messed up.

There were so many mistakes and inconsistencies on both sides that it was hard to keep track of them all. 

So get to the deliberation portion of the schedule.  There is one juror who (reluctantly) tells us that this type of marijuana does not have a potent enough smell to rouse the suspicion of the cops...so they must be lying.   (Uh...OK.)   Another juror is sure that the cops are lying because when they gave their testimony and were asked, "On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the strongest, how strong was the smell of marijuana coming from the car?" one of the officers said "8" and the other one said "10"...so their stories didn't match.  (Seriously?)  Several of the jurors were convinced that Devin was smart and a smart person wouldn't consent to a search knowing that there were drugs in the car.  (I work with Junior High students that are smart enough to know that if you want someone to think that you are innocent of wrong-doing...you have to act like you are innocent...I mean COME ON!)  AND...everyone is talking at the same time.

Now, those of you that know me, know that I very often have something to say but I will rarely fight to be heard.  However, the forewoman was one of those people and she wanted to hear what I thought...was he innocent or guilty.  And here is the most difficult part of the whole experience.

He very well could be guilty.  I have no idea.  But I do know that they didn't prove that he was guilty.  The chain of evidence report stapled to the bag of marijuana didn't even have Devin/Kevin's name on it...it had one of his passenger's name as the owner of the drugs.  One of the reports had the wrong date for the incident.  There were no fingerprints taken from the bags of marijuana...even though they have that ability.  There was no cruiser cam video of the incident...even though they have that ability as well.  They proved that the marijuana was in his car but they did not prove that he "knew" about it or that he had the "intention of participating in the mutual enjoyment and use" of it.  When I was done speaking...there was a moment of silence as they all stared at me...then someone said, "ok.  Let's vote." 

I wouldn't mind doing it again but I can see that the experience could be very different...depending on the type of case you were assigned to.