Is My Head Really THAT Small??

The first time I realized that I had a small head was while in college.  I was still living at home and my dad had salvaged some football helmets from a middle school thinking that my mom could use them in the dress-up area of her preschool.  My younger brothers were trying to put them on but they weren't going over anyone's ears.  I grabbed one and went to set it on my head...we were all quite surprised when the helmet plopped down to my shoulders.  And even more surprised when I could turn my head back and forth...without the helmet moving.


Now, fastforward a few years...as you know from my previous post, I am in need of glasses.  I have had my exam and yesterday (Black Friday) I went shopping for frames.  I took a friend with me and we went to four different places. During the course of the first three, we learned what shapes and colors to stay away from.  However, when we got to the fourth place, some of those shapes and colors were suddenly working.  Then I noticed that they seemed smaller.  So we went to the youth/kids area and suddenly everything is looking good...  Anyway, seems I have a lot more options on what looks good when the glasses actually fit my face.


That being said, I am buying a pair on Monday.

Family Reunion

The middle of July marked my niece's first birthday and the first time in 11 years that my parents, brothers (and wives) and myself were all in the same room simultaneously.  It was so much fun.  Two and a half days of hugs and memories and laughter.  There were several memories shared that certain individuals had hoped would never be mentioned again. (Most of these involved flatulence and other bodily functions.)  There were also lots and lots of pictures.  The birthday party was enjoyed by all...my brother and sister-in-law put together an amazing cake.  The men played football in the heat and humidity while the more sensible women-folk cheered them on from the slightly cooler "veranda."  We all decided that we definitely get together more often than once a decade!

Lack of Blog Fodder...

So far my summer has been severely hampered by a lack of funds and a lack of transportation.  I have gone nowhere and done nothing.  Seriously.  However, I will be going to my niece's first birthday party next weekend...as will my entire immediate family.  This will be the first time in 11 years that we all have gotten together in the same place.  M & A are flying Mom and Dad to New Jersey this coming Monday and will head to Tennessee on Thursday.  T is flying into Baltimore on Thursday and he and I will drive down Friday morning...early.  Mom, Dad, Me, M & A, D & D & H (the birthday girl), and T...all together for two and a half days...it will be a blog fodder feast!

I Love My Mother

It is bitterly cold here in DC. The kind of cold that kills people...



Ok. So it's not "the coldest it's ever been" or even "as cold as it gets some places" but it is cold enough.  Cold enough to burn your face and numb your limbs.  Cold enough to freeze your lungs in place and frost your eardrums. 


And while my face is chilly and my knees are numb, the rest of me is like toast...because I'm wearing my coat....that my mom bought me.

I love my mom.

It Started with Some Mistletoe...

This is really an installment of Memories from Mondays Gone by...on a Wednesday.

About a decade ago...when I was still in Washington State, my youngest brother and I were the only ones still living at home. (Actually, I was living at home AGAIN. You know, they talk about the boomerang generation...adult kids that move back in with mom and dad...I'm more of a yo-yo.)  Anyway.  We had not had  a decorated Christmas in a couple of years and for some reason, Tim and I decided that we would be funny and hang a single sprig of mistletoe in the living room. 

So, we dig out the Christmas decorations and a step-ladder and attach the mistletoe to the light fixture in our living room.  Then we step back to admire our handiwork.  That's when our attention focussed on the step-ladder.  Evidently, we both had the same silly idea at the same time because we just smiled at each other and proceeded to decorate our metal "Christmas tree."

When Mom and Dad got home, they were greeted by a gleaming silver "tree" complete with garland and bows.

And I don't think they ever noticed the mistletoe.

It's a Hagedorn thing...

Hagedorn is my mother's maiden name.  They have this thing... they will...shall we say...veer...from the truth for the sake of a good story. 

So, the other day my mother says, "I told Danielle that you decided that Halle would have an easier time pronouncing 'Papa' and 'DeeDee' instead of 'Grandpa' and Grandma.'"

To which I responded, "Wait a minute. You're the one that said that you didn't want to be called 'Grandma'...I just said that Dad should pick something informal to match...like 'Papa' or something."

Her response?

"I know what the truth is...I'm just telling you what I told her."

Um...ok.

Holiday Memories...

If I had had my computer I would have shared this memory closer to Thanksgiving.  Not because it is a Thanksgiving memory (because it is not...it is not even a holiday memory) but because I was reminded during Thanksgiving.

I spent Thanksgiving in Knoxville with my brother and his family. On the way there I saw a guy trying to get to Johnson City. I know all the warnings about picking up hitchhikers...but there I was, wondering if I could shift some of my stuff and make room for this guy.

See, my dad used to work in Portland, OR. And we lived in Twisp, WA (about 400 miles away) with my grandparents. And after work on Friday, he would hitchhike all night so that he could spend Saturday with us only to leave Sunday morning so he could be at work Monday morning. And I wonder how many people passed him by because they were afraid to pick up a crazy person... But to those of you who stopped to help him get home to his family...thank you.

Oh, and someone else stopped for Mr. Johnson City before I could and hopefully he was able to spend his Thanksgiving with his friends and family.

Memories of Mondays Gone By...Thanksgiving Edition

I love Thanksgiving.  I love the food...the turkey, the stuffing, the sweet potatoes, the pumpkin pie.  I don't like the cranberry jelly but other than that... I even like the green beans.  I remember a Thanksgiving when I was about three, my mother asked me how many green beans I wanted. I answered "6."  That's a big number to a 3-year old.  My 5-year old cousin David overheard my answer and got all excited and proclaimed that he would take 6 green beans as well.  I also remember several Thanksgiving poker games where we used the vegetable tray instead of chips..."I'll see your radish and raise you an olive."

I love the football...Grandpa was very big on team loyalty.  My cousin Brent was the only one who ever dared to oppose him.  He was a die-hard Raiders fan in a Seahawk family.  I remember my mother cheering during the game.  Whenever her team was doing poorly she would yell, "Dang!"  Whenever her team was doing well she would yell, "Hot Dang!"

And I love the friends and family.  I love the hugs, the laughter, the memories (or exaggerated stories), and all the quirks and idiosyncrasies that make a family...yours.  Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  And I am very grateful indeed.

A Positive Outcome

I had to leave early tonight.  I just couldn't take it any longer.  If I had stayed...well...it wouldn't have been pretty.  But I am happy to report that no "yoots" were smacked upside the head during the making of this evening.

However, the positive outcome is this:



I am extremely thankful for my upbringing.  I'm not sure that I can adequately communicate just how grateful I am for the way I was raised.  So, I am going to just list some of the highlights.

I am thankful...

1. I was not given everything I wanted
2. we did not replace the TV when it broke
3. we took our vacations in the woods
4. that sometimes we were awakened in the middle of the night to witness the northern lights and meteor showers
5. that I was spanked when I was disobedient
6. I was required to do my homework...myself
7. laughing was strongly encouraged
8. I did not ALWAYS get presents for my birthday or Christmas
9. my mother taught me to be creative and resourceful
10. my father taught me to be diligent and perseverant
11. I was taught to value books
12. that striving for mediocrity was not an option
13. I wasn't allowed to blame other people or situations for my own actions
14. that disrespect (toward anyone) was not tolerated
15. I was taught the importance of empathy

I am thankful that my parents loved me enough to see that I grew up...well.

This Memory Is Brought to You by My Mother...

Today my mother asked me if I wanted her ashes.  And that question and the resulting thoughts that went through my head eventually led to this memory being shared with you on another Moments from Mondays Gone By...

There are no adults in this story. Now, some of my best childhood memories are adult-free but in this case...well...you be the judge.

At the time, I was 12, the brother involved was 10, and the kid from across the street was 14. We lived in a trailer park in a small town in the middle of nowhere, WA. Our neighbors were on vacation and they had a cat. The cat was hit by a car.

So, here we are, looking at this cat...which was really more of a kitten, gasping for air, mewing pitifully, and unable to move due to a squished spine. Now, I'm not a cat-person...never have been...but I remember getting teary-eyed watching that cat suffer and knowing that it was not going to survive. We were trying to figure out what to do and how to put this cat out of its misery and the kid from across the street says,

"My dad has an axe."

OK. Now we had a plan. So the kid from across the street returns with the axe and there is a brief discussion about how he is the oldest and it is his father's axe therefore he should be the one to chop...the cat's...head...off.

So, my brother and I take a couple steps back and...wait.  And wait. Evidently it is one thing to watch this kind of thing being done by adults and quite another to be the one doing it. Anyway, he finally works up the courage to swing the axe but closes his eyes and completely misses. After another few minutes of gathering courage, he swings...he severs.

Now, let me just take a moment and say...we were all familiar with farm life...we had all seen chickens running around with their heads cut off...BUT...what we did not know...could never even have imagined...is that ALL creatures, suddenly severed from their brains, "run like a chicken with its head cut off."

This cat...body...jumps up and starts running around, flopping on the ground, jumping in the air and generally doing all manner of acrobatic feats while its head is just laying there in the street. There is a moment of shocked silence...and then the kid from across the street start screaming...like a girl...and my brother and I begin to giggle.  You know. Those giggles you get when you are really nervous or...FREAKED OUT!! The ones that you can't stop and they get worse the more nervous or freaked out you get?

Thankfully the cat started to settle down because right about then we see the park manager start heading our way. So we grab both pieces of the cat and head down to the river to bury the thing. We were still nervous so we just gave it a shallow grave.  It was really more like getting rid of the evidence instead of a proper funeral. However, in just a few days it started to really stink and it was right where we all played so...

we built a raft...
placed the cat...
set it on fire...
and gave it a glorious Viking burial.

And we NEVER told the neighbors.

I'm an Aunt

Yes, it is true. I am finally an aunt. D and D have a daughter, born July 19, 2010 at 8:40 pm central time. She is very healthy, has a full head of red hair and is already a good eater. She weighed in at 8lbs 3oz.

Lord willing in 14 days they will have full guardianship and in 6 months they will be able to officially adopt her. Welcome to our family Halle.

The Butterscotch Pudding Episode...

Here is another installment in the Moments From Mondays Gone By Series. I am sitting here enjoying a butterscotch pudding cup and I suddenly get the giggles as I remember...


It sounded clever in my head. But when you are twelve...pretty much everything sounds clever in your head. Anyway...Mom and Dad were out and I was home with my three younger brothers. I was making Bean with Bacon Soup (or...stirring Bean with Bacon Soup as it was from a can) and somehow came up with the idea that it would be funny to tell them it was butterscotch pudding. I told them that the reason there were lumps was because it wasn't the instant kind of pudding but the kind that had to be cooked and this was my first time making it. So, there they were with a large bowl of sweet, delicious, buttery-goodness in front of them and a big ole mouthful of...soup. Savory, bacon-y, bean-y soup...some of which was spit directly back into the bowl.

I laughed...they didn't.

That was 30 years ago...but the effects have not worn off. I have two brothers who are "not fond" of butterscotch flavor and one who shudders at the mere mention of the word "butterscotch". Would I have played that practical joke had I known just how far into the future I would influence?.....uhhh...yeah.