One Down...Three to Go

That's right.  1st quarter of school done.  I still have some grading to do... And I have to compile the report cards... But still.

Fog

Yesterday, while working on my photography blog, I took some time to look through some of the other photography blogs that I follow and I saw this great image of a motorcycle and road sign in the fog.  As I admired the image I started thinking about fog and I realized that that is where I am.  In a fog.

See, everything is muted in the fog.  Colors are muted.  Sounds are muted.  Even time seems muted.  And visibility.  Sometimes your visibility is so muted that you feel like you are the only one on earth.

Now, ever notice that when you are trying to see through the fog your instincts are to shine some light on it...but the light only illuminates the fog.  And the brighter the light...the brighter the fog. 

Ok.  So here's the thing.  I'm in a fog.  Everything is muted.  My joy is muted.  My worship is muted.  My passion is muted.  And my visibility is definitely muted to the point of feeling very disconnected...from everything.  And everytime I add a new ministry or activity or job all I succeed in doing is lighting up more fog. 

Yesterday I shared about change coming.  I still don't know what it is but I know that getting out of this fog is an absolute necessity.  And yet I'm hesitating.  I don't know if it is because I am afraid of what is outside the fog or if I am just worried about what people will say when I start shutting down some of the activities, ministries and jobs...  Or maybe I do know and I'm just afraid to be that transparent and vunerable here.  Possibly more on that later...

Has Anyone Seen October?

I don't even know where to begin.  Seriously.  This is actually my third attempt at this post.  I woke up this morning realizing that it was November.  It seems like yesterday was September.  And yet October didn't just slip quietly by...in fact, it camped out on my front porch and even punched me in the face a couple of times.  First, there was the accident.  Thankfully I was not injured but Ursula Sinead Popodopolis did not fare so well.  29 days and 1300 (my cost) dollars later we were finally reunited.  Then, my house flooded.  This happens enough times that it is pretty much routine, but still.  At the same time that my house flooded, I got a major head cold that lasted a week but had a lingering cough.  October is, of course, a lovely time of the year for allergy sufferers (sarcasm alert).  And we had a spelling bee, all-day-out-of-town field trip and a leadership conference at school.

And among all this activity there has been some internal drama as well.  I don't know what God is doing in me (of course, I rarely do...I rather enjoy that about Him) but change is coming.  And it's big.  And deep.  Lately I have been feeling very strong yearnings.  For what, I don't know...yet.  But there is this sense of urgency as well.  Yeah. It sounds strange to me, too.  A strong, urgent yearning for...?

But, whatever it is, my life is in need of some altercations.  More on that later.

Bits & Pieces

Here it is...the beginning of week two.  Now that I am back in school I have the opportunity to share with you the bits and pieces of conversation that I overhear from my middle school students.

O (7): "When is my birthday this year?"...
T (7):  "When was your birthday last year?"
O (7):  "It was on one of the days of the week."

Yeah...that narrows it down...

A (8): "Where's her face?!  I just had her face!"

I can't even begin to explain that...
...or this....

K (6): "Ooh...Turtles wearing scarves.  Now I get it."

But my favorite...

Starting my car to go to work this morning I hear the very last line of a story before the newscaster moves on to the next one...

"The musician known as "Bongo Jesus" was finally tazered into submission."

...and after sharing that sentence at work one of my co-workers offered this bit:

"Sounds like he was a little too bongo and not enough Jesus."

Then Why Am I Still Sitting Here?

So today was the day that teachers went back to school.  We don't see students until next Tuesday but I got up early this morning...packed my lunch and got out of the door exactly on time. 

I take the Parkway to work.  It's not as bad as it sounds because as everyone is trying to get into DC I am trying to get out.  This usually makes for a pleasant drive...usually.  See, even though the Parkway is a "scenic drive" most people treat it like it's the Autobahn...and when maniacs drive...accidents happen.

Anyway, I hit traffic and turn to the radio station that is going to tell me what and where the delay is so I can choose an alternate route if needed.  Six minutes later I am completely stopped (with the car in park) as I listen to the traffic report.  The northbound freeway (parallel to where I am...) is shutdown...all lanes...due to a truck dumping a load of wood and the parkway is slow (I'm thinking, "I want to be on that part of the parkway") due to an accident just two exits ahead of me so I decide to stay put.  Now, ten minutes later, when the next traffic report comes on, I am in the exact same place...I have not moved...and the lady says, "All northbound lanes on the freeway have been shutdown and you would be better off taking the parkway as the earlier accident is gone."  And I'm thinking, "Gone?  Where did it go?  And why am I still sitting here?  Did anyone bother to tell the two guys in front that when the accident disappeared they could continue commuting?" 

It was a full three minutes more before I could put my car in gear and continue on my way to work...Nothing like showing up late on the first day...

Goodnight, Summertime.

Well, this is it.  Tomorrow I go back to school and the insanity.  I am not nearly as rested or prepared physically, emotionally or mentally as is the norm at the end of August.  This is my last few moments of summer.  You were much too fleeting.  Goodnight, Summertime.

Um...Slow Down!

Ok.  Here it is mid-August and...well...nothing.  Usually my summers are filled with adventure and...you know...blog fodder.  However, this summer not so much.  First of all, I got sick on the last day of school and was sick for more than a month.  Then I spent a couple weeks doing some cleaning and organizing (I would love to do a total makeover of my living quarters before the end of September...).  Then I left for my brother and sister-in-laws (which is where I am as I write this) which has been wonderful...

I'm not going to say "but"...I'm not.

It did, however, dawn on me today that I only have a week left before I head home and then only two weeks before school starts.  I ONLY HAVE THREE WEEKS BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS!!!  I am not ready for school to start.  Not physically.  Not emotionally.  I. Am. Not. Ready.

Oh, boy.